[Career] If Your Resume Was a Person, I’d Ground It
It all began with a classic household crisis: the printer jammed. You came stomping into the living room, waving your laptop and mumbling something about a last-minute job application. I offered to help—big mistake. You pulled up your resume, and suddenly I was staring at a document so tragic, I wanted to blame the printer just for trying to spare humanity.
You had bullet points like “Did tasks” and “Helped customers.” What does that even mean? It reads like a fortune cookie written by a robot with low self-esteem. No achievements, no details, just vague nonsense that screamed, “Please ignore me!”
Kid, if your resume can’t tell a hiring manager why you’re worth their budget in ten seconds flat, they’ll move on faster than you run from chores. Let’s fix this mess—because right now, the only job you’re getting is “professional disappointment.”
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
What Even Is a Resume, and Why Should You Care?
Your resume is like a dating profile—but not the cute kind with bios and emojis. We’re talking swipe-fast, judge-in-seconds territory. Employers aren’t reading—they’re skimming, thinking: “Is this person worth my time?”
It’s like posting your best selfie—good angle, clean background, perfect lighting. You want people to stop and say, “Okay, who’s this?” Not scroll past like you’re just another blurry face in the feed.
Your resume works the same way. It needs to be clear, polished, and easy to scan. First a robot screens it, then—if you’re lucky—a tired human gives it five seconds. Maybe.
So yeah, it matters. More than you think.
1. The Resume Foundation: Format, Structure, and Must-Have Sections
Think of your resume like IKEA furniture: clean, sharp, and everything fits. If it’s a confusing mess, it’s heading to the trash faster than your uneaten leftovers.
Format: Keep It Clean, Like a Fresh Haircut Before Lunar New Year
Font: Arial, Calibri, Times New Roman. No Comic Sans.
Size: 10–12 pt content, 14 pt headers, 16 pt name.
Margins: 0.5 to 1 inch.
Length: One page. If a CEO can do it, so can you.
Structure: Put the Right Stuff in the Right Spot
Contact Info: Name, phone, email, LinkedIn. No gamer tags.
Experience: Bullet points only—what, how, and why it mattered.
Education: If you’re a student, put it up top. GPA only if it’s not shameful.
Skills: Real ones. No “funny” or “vibes.”
Bonus: Certifications, languages, volunteering—if relevant.
Template: Start with Something That Actually Works
Here’s a solid sample to kick things off. Use it, tweak it, and save yourself from resume shame.
2. Bullet Points That Actually Say Something
“Helped with stuff” and “responsible for tasks”? Congrats, you just described every intern ever. If you want to stand out, your bullet points need to show results, not just busywork.
Use the What–How–Why Formula
Example:
What: Managed event logistics
How: Coordinated with 5 departments under tight deadlines
Why: Drew 300+ attendees and boosted engagement
Boom. Rockstar.
Start with Strong Action Verbs
No “helped.” Use “led,” “created,” “increased.” Harvard has a list. Use it.
Quantify Like You Mean It
“Handled communication” = meh.
“Answered 30+ emails/day” = hire-worthy.
Match the Job Description
Mirror the job post. Don’t lie—just focus.
3. You Wanna Impress? Then Go Pro.
Target Each Resume — Every job = custom resume. Lazy gets no interview.
Trim the Fat — No objectives. No “references available.” Just proof.
Brag, But Do It Right — “Won scholarship” = weak. “Top 1% GPA, $5K scholarship” = boss move.
Add a Projects Section — Got no job? Side hustles count. Class projects too.
Use Keywords Smartly — Scan the job post. Echo the language. ATS loves it. So do humans.
Dad’s Final Words: Don’t Be Basic. Be Irresistible.
Listen kid, your resume isn’t just a paper. It’s your personal billboard. It either says, “Hire me, I’m ready to kill it,” or “Please don’t notice me.” You think recruiters have time for guesswork? Nah. They’ve got 300 more resumes to skim before lunch.
So stop treating your resume like a formality. Treat it like your shot to prove you’re not just another generic grad with Wi-Fi and a LinkedIn.
Bonus Challenge: The Copy-Paste Check
Pull up your resume and the job description of a role you actually want.
Now, copy the responsibilities section from the job post and paste it into a new document. Then go through your resume line by line and ask yourself:
“Does anything I’ve written prove I can do this exact thing?”
If the answer is no? Rewrite it until it does. If your resume can’t survive a copy-paste showdown with a job listing, it’s not ready to leave the house.
No half-baked applications. No excuses. Make it match. Make it matter.
